So for those of you with blended families (<----what's the correct term?) whether that be with foster children or adoptive and bio kids, how do your parenting styles differ between children? From before and after you adopted, etc? Why did they change or why not? I'm full of questions today, aren't I?
Knowing that our adoptive children have to learn to trust us, have possibly experienced a completely different kind of life before our family, is it important to parent them differently OR do you change your parenting style for the whole family? I'm bringing my daughter home in a couple of months--I need help, folks!
What's your parenting style? What works and doesn't?
Here's a link to a video and the Empowered to Connect website, featuring Dr. Karyn Purvis. (I know you've heard of her!) Listen to what she has to say and tell me what you think.
Should I Parent My Adopted Child Differently Than My Birth Children? There are plenty of other excellent videos and resources there, too.
Oh yeah, leave a comment and I'll draw a name to win one of my tee shirts!
We haven't adopted yet, but are working on it. We've decided to try and change the way we parent our bio kids (to some degree), just to make life easier. I can see where our adopted kids would need alot more grace to adapt to the new rules and new life, where as our bio kids already know how we want them to act, so I might be stricter with them......at least in the beginning. I also think there will be a natural change of things just by adding new children into the family. I parented differently with my first child than I do now that we have 3!
ReplyDeleteI think most parents are constantly evolving. I know my 7th bio child got a very different mom than my first bio child did. It stands to reason that with all the education that goes into adoption, your adoptive kids would get a different mom, too.
ReplyDeleteYes! But in doing so, you'll be parenting your birth children differently, too. I love applying some of the ETC principles with my kids now! I can't wait to go to the conference next weekend!
ReplyDeleteWe adopted back in the 1980's and tried to use the same methods with everyone. It just didn't work. How I wish Dr. Purvis had been around then! No one knew about attachment disorders, effects of traumatic pasts, etc. Looking back these "Connected" methods would have made so much sense in the situations we had with our other children. We are about to travel to adopt two little girls and yes, for sure we will be referring to her materials over and over!
ReplyDeleteThat said, I have to also agree with Shecki that as we ourselves mature our parenting styles may also change. I am not the same person now as I was with our first child (um... 31 years ago!)
Okay, ladies......drumroll please......
ReplyDeletecongrats, "aPartyOf6"! You won a tee:) Contact me and I'll send you your size!
Thanks for the comments, everyone. I appreciate it!